the signs as first lines of parker novels by r…

ARIES: Butcher’s Moon: “Running toward the light, Parker fired twice over his left shoulder, not caring whether he hit anything or not.”
TAURUS: The Black Ice Score: 

“Parker walked into his hotel room, and there was a guy in there going through his suitcase laid out on his bed.”

GEMINI: The Man with the Getaway Face: “When the bandages came off, Parker looked in the mirror at a stranger.”
CANCER: Comeback: “When the angel opened the door, Parker stepped first past the threshold into the darkness of the cinder block corridor beneath the stage.”
LEO: Backflash: “When the car stopped rolling, Parker kicked out the rest of the windshield and crawled through onto the wrinkled hood, Glock first.”
VIRGO: Flashfire: “When the dashboard clock read 2:40, Parker drove out of the drugstore parking lot and across the sunlit road to the convenience store/gas station.”
LIBRA: Nobody Runs Forever: “When he saw that the one called Harbin was wearing a wire, Parker said, ‘Deal me out a hand,’ and got to his feet.”
SCORPIO: Firebreak: “When the phone rang, Parker was in the garage, killing a man.”
SAGITTARIUS: The Rare Coin Score: “Parker spent two weeks on the white sand beach at Biloxi, and on a white sandy bitch named Belle, but he was restless, and one day without thinking about it he checked out and sent a forwarding address to Handy McKay and moved on to New Orleans.”
CAPRICORN: The Green Eagle Score: “Parker looked in at the beach and there was a guy in a black suit standing there, surrounded by all the bodies in bathing suits.”
AQUARIUS: Hunter: “When a fresh-faced guy in a Chevy offered him a lift, Parker told him to go to hell.”
PISCES: The Sour Lemon Score: “Parker put the revolver away and looked out the windshield.”

the signs as reasons candidates were eliminate…

ARIES: Kayley: Paris felt that she would bring too much drama to her life.
TAURUS: Shelley: Did not seem sad when she was “sent home” in the fake elimination challenge, thus making Paris feel like she would be happier back home.
GEMINI: David: Paris noticed that David was hanging out with other people instead of herself and didn’t think it would work out.
CANCER: Natasha: Performed badly in the 7 Minutes in Heaven challenge. She also disrespected Paris by saying that the challenge was foolish.
LEO: Kristen: Paris didn’t want her in the competition because she would brag a lot. (Kristen had told Paris that she said that the BFF mansion was almost as big as her parents house.)
VIRGO: Michelle: Did not trust Paris’s makeover suggestion.
LIBRA: Desirae: Paris noted that she was up for discussion 3 times and that she had a bad sense of style by saying that “…she [Paris] looked hot…” in an obviously horrible outfit.
SCORPIO: Arika: Paris felt she could not be trusted, because of the fact that she made out with the groom-to-be.
SAGITTARIUS: Baje: Performed badly in the 24-hour party challenge, was anti-social, did not get along well with other contestants and was disrespectful to Paris by laughing during elimination.
CAPRICORN: Corrie: Paris felt that she cared more about herself than friendship.
AQUARIUS: Rachel: Paris thought she was freaky because she tripped at the party, her presentation at show and tell, and the tiger didn’t like it when she pet him.
PISCES: Nicole: Paris thought that she was there to further her career as an actress.

the signs as code comments in the spider-man v…

part two in a series

ARIES: Shouldn’t be in TOSS_GRENADE state

TAURUS: More 256C palettes used than expected
GEMINI: Don’t collide with yourself idiot
CANCER: Repeated softspot
LEO: Fire Matt, he fucked up the rhino XA. Actually, kick him in the nuts first
VIRGO: something’s wrong in the state of denmark
LIBRA: Hmmm… these aren’t equal! Fire Matt immediately
SCORPIO: What the fuck? Scorp ptr isn’t scorp
SAGITTARIUS: Tried to do two fade ups
CAPRICORN: numFrames <= 0 illegal. you’re under arrest dipshit
AQUARIUS: Unknown die state
PISCES: No ribbons?

the signs as code comments in the ps2 enter th…

aka a game, according to The Cutting Room Floor, that’s “well-known for being a complete buggy mess”

ARIES: SPU WAD STREAM FAILED! BIG FUCK! TELL TONY!
TAURUS: load failed: background-object “%s” has too many polygons. Around 1000 vertices pr object is the max
GEMINI: damn you for spawning this many particles at once 
CANCER: soren made a booboo
LEO: WHO’S CALLING MY CODE SHADY! I PITY THE FOOL WHO’S CALLIN’ B’S CODE SHADY! PITY I SAY!
VIRGO: If you are a scripter please tell soren that you have the breaklevel assert. And let him debug it on your machine. Don’t just assume that he already knows about it. Thank you
LIBRA: WARNING: STREAMING DATA IS DANGEROUS
SCORPIO: All files unlocked. Remember to remove this feature from the final version!
SAGITTARIUS: Hey pasteeater, you’re trying to draw an incomplete text element. 
CAPRICORN: Not good. Definitely not efficient. And not allowed. So Fix It.
AQUARIUS: Whore ass. Too many portals. Recursive loop most likely
PISCES: WEAPON NOT FOUND! STATS DEFAULT TO NIOBE PISTOL!! 

the signs as things donated on bbc’s the museu…

ARIES: The urge to press red buttons that you know you shouldn’t press
TAURUS: The concept of hygge
GEMINI: The New Emperor’s new clothes, which change colour when you lie
CANCER: A vial of one’s own tears
LEO: A mirror showing unfinished masterpieces
VIRGO: The equation for the perfect marriage
LIBRA: Side B, track 14 on disk 8 of a Pioneer LaserDisc karaoke machine (”I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor)
SCORPIO: Fifty Shades of Grey
SAGITTARIUS: Privacy
CAPRICORN: The smell of an estate agent
AQUARIUS: A gay bomb
PISCES: Childhood, represented by a badly knitted jumper made by your nan

the signs as baba is you properties

(I lied slightly, I am in a job application process but also have sunk many hours into this game)

ARIES: MORE
TAURUS: STOP
GEMINI: TELE
CANCER: FALL
LEO: BONUS
VIRGO: PULL
LIBRA: BEST
SCORPIO: EMPTY
SAGITTARIUS: MOVE
CAPRICORN: WIN
AQUARIUS: WORD
PISCES: FLOAT

the signs as lines from raymond queneau’s hund…

background: 

A Hundred Thousand Billion Poems or One hundred million million poems (original French title: Cent mille milliards de poèmes) is a book by Raymond Queneau, affiliated with the French constrained-writing movement Oulipo, published in 1961. The book is a set of ten sonnets printed on card with each line on a separate strip. As all ten sonnets have not just the same rhyme scheme but the same rhyme sounds, any lines from a sonnet can be combined with any from the nine others, allowing for 1014 (= 100,000,000,000,000) different poems.

ARIES: What things we did, we went the whole darned hog
TAURUS: That suede ferments is not at all well known
GEMINI: Bard I adore your endless monologue
CANCER:

One gathers rosebuds or grows old alone

LEO: His nasal ecstasy beats best Cologne
VIRGO:

Victorious worms grind all into the grave  

LIBRA:

Normal one aims to be and share the throne

SCORPIO: Southern baroque’s seductive dialogue

SAGITTARIUS: Where no one bothered where one warmed one’s bum
CAPRICORN: Poor reader smile before your lips go numb

AQUARIUS:

That every verbal shock aims to deprave  

PISCES: Forms shadowy with indecision wheeze

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